An Interesting Discovery
by Selacha
Summary: While spending some time together during a rainy evening with Holly, Artemis discovers something interesting about fairy anatomy. Oneshot. Shameless A/H fluffy fun.


**A/N: This was one of the first Artemis Fowl stories I ever wrote, and as such it didn't really stack up to any of my others as my skills got better. So, understandably, I deleted it. I honestly thought no-one would notice or care. But apparently I was wrong, as recently I got a PM from a Candra Jade, asking where one of her favorite stories had gone. So I offered to re-post it after I gave it a quick edit. **

**So here you go Candra Jade, this is for you.**

**Disclaimer:**** Artemis Fowl and all related characters are the property of Eoin Colfer.**

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Artemis Fowl's Room, 8:00 PM**

The calm Irish night was broken only by the gentle pitter-patter of a soft rainfall, and to a certain inhabitant of the grandiose beauty that was Fowl Manor, the rain was only an enhancement to the beauty of the night. Elfin LEPRecon Captain Holly Short was on the surface visiting her human friend Artemis Fowl II. The full moon gave her an excuse to get a pass to the surface, and a favor from Foaly was enough to convince Trouble that her wings had broken down, and that she had to stay above ground for the next day, giving her a rare chance to stay on the surface breathing in the fresh air.

Currently, Holly was curled up in one of Artemis' lounge chairs in his bedroom/study, reading one of the romance books the genius had published under the pseudonym Violet Tsirblou when he was younger, while the genius Mudboy in question was working on his computer nearby.

She had started reading the book in an attempt to find some embarrassing new ammo to launch at him, but had been surprised upon opening it to discover it a compelling read. Of course if Artemis had said that to anyone of her LEP friends, she would have knocked his block off. The female lead of the novel was a strong-willed, feisty heroine named Polly pushing off the advances of many drooling suitors while saving the world alongside a handsome criminal named Hunter. She was convinced he had written it about them as a joke.

She stretched and glanced up to see Artemis had stopped typing and was staring at her face, apparently deep in thought.

"Um, Artemis? You okay in there?" she asked, a little put off by the attention.

"What? Oh! Yes, I'm fine," he said, as he quickly looked back at his screen and to resume typing.

Holly went back to her book, anxious to see how Polly and Hunter would escape the death trap that they had carelessly wandered into. After a few minutes, she looked up again to stretch her neck and saw Artemis staring at her intently once more.

"Artemis, what's wrong?" Holly was concerned now, worried Artemis was hiding something.

"Nothing is wrong Holly, I promise. It's just … oh, nothing. Go back to that book. You should be nearing the big escape scene." The genius turned back to his computer, falling back into the rhythm of typing. Holly put the book aside and stared at her human friend. She had been visiting on friendly terms for over three years now, ever since coming back from the past, and had been amazed by the changes he had gone through.

One thing that hadn't changed, much to Holly's amusement and Artemis' vexation, was his height. As he grew older Artemis never quite grew 'up', staying at the relatively short stature of 5' 2". His silky onyx hair had grown longer, coincidentally around the same time Holly had mentioned she liked how it had looked during his change in the past, and fell in waves just past his shoulders. And after both Butler and Holly had finally managed to wear him down, he had agreed to start some fitness training with Butler and Juliet. Artemis would never be a body builder, but the hours in the gym had given him some wiry, well-defined muscles, giving him the body more reminiscent of a runner.

Not that she had ever stared at those gorgeous muscles on his chest. Or his arms. Or noticed how handsome he had become, with his flawless, pale complexion and high, sculpted features or those beautiful eyes like a sapphire and a shard of amber set into the marble statue of a Greek , never. Not her. Nope. She would never admit how absolutely yummy-

Holly shook her head to clear her mind from the irritating thoughts about her _-Human!-_ best friend and went back to her book. Only to immediately glance back up to catch Artemis staring at her again.

"Okay, that is just annoying Mudboy! What are you staring at me for?" she was ticked off now, and wanted answers. "You know what'll happen if you lie to me." She raised her fist threateningly-and mockingly. Well, mostly.

Artemis sighed, and pushed his leather chair back from his desk. "Fine. I've been wondering about something for a while, and I can't find any information anywhere." Holly leaned forward, intrigued now, her anger momentarily forgotten. "The Book, Foaly's files, even LEP databases come up empty. Maybe you know, and could enlighten me."

"The great Artemis Fowl needs **my** help to answer a question? Wow. I'm honored. What exactly is it that you can't figure out, Artemis?"

Artemis rubbed his neck and looked away, apparently embarrassed by admitting he didn't know something. "I was wondering … why do the People have pointed ears?" he mumbled under his breath.

Holly stared at him for a good minute straight, a serious look plastered on her face. Then she couldn't keep it up any longer and broke out laughing. She laughed so hard she actually rolled out of her chair onto the floor, and kept laughing even then, book forgotten next to her. Eventually she started taking deep breaths to calm herself, her arms wrapped around her aching ribs.

"Tha- that's what you were wondering about?! Oh, that is just wonderful." she kept chuckling, until Artemis managed to calm her down enough to help her back into her chair.

"If you don't know, you could just say so." Artemis grumbled. "No need to be insulting."

"No, no, that's not it. I know. But so does every single fairy who's gotten to Biology 1 in high school." Holly was smiling, holding back tears of laughter.

"... really?"

"Yes. It's one of the first lessons. It's actually very simple, if you'd like me to tell you."

Artemis scooted his desk chair closer, eager for more knowledge. "Of course I would."

"Uh uh," Holly said, wagging her finger in Artemis' face. "First, say that I know something that you don't know."

"This is incredibly childish, you do realize that?" Holly just continued to wag her finger, and Artemis pinched the bridge of his nose, a clear sign that she was getting to him. _*Sigh*_ "Fine. You are in possession of information that I am not privy too, and I would like you to share it with me. Satisfied?"

"For now." Holly smirked at Artemis' scowl. "It's really very simple. Thousands of years ago, we fairies had the ability to swivel our ears in order to hear predators approaching. They're pointed to better catch sounds."

"Much like a modern cat." Artemis observed.

"Yes Artemis, fairies are exactly like cats. You did it, you found the missing link in our evolutionary chain. Congratulations." Holly droned on sarcastically, enjoying torturing the Mudboy far, far too much. "So, eventually we lost the muscles necessary to move our ears in any real way. Needed them for something else. What?" she asked, in response to Artemis' dirty look. "High school was a long time ago. But anyway, they stayed pointed, and are in fact a dominant gene. That's why all members of the People have them. We also kept the extra nerves and blood vessels in our ears."

Artemis leaned forward to stare more closely at her ears, causing her to blush a little at his proximity. "Somewhat less interesting than I had hoped. I thought it might have been some grand, fairy-wide conspiracy. Oh well. They are still very elegant, I suppose." He absentmindedly stroked the edge of her ear.

Two things immediately happened. One, Holly quite noticeably shivered at his touch and a loud moan escaped her lips before she could stop herself. And two, she slapped his hand away very quickly, with an 'I-can't-believe-you-just-did-that' look on her face.

"Did I do something?" Artemis asked, the look on his face telling her he already knew the answer.

"You… have no idea what you just did, do you?" He shook his head, and she sighed. "Of course you don't. Well, since there are so many extra nerves in them, fairy ears are incredibly sensitive. But it's more of the… social implications of what you just did."

"I'm almost afraid to ask at this point. But, pray tell, what exactly are the… 'social implications' of touching your ear?"

Holly was blushing furiously. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation. And the butterflies in her stomach still lingering from Artemis' touch weren't helping. "Well, since they're so sensitive, it has always been considered a very _intimate_ gesture to touch another fairy's ears. It shows a lot of love and trust. It's kind of like the fairy equivalent of, what do you humans call it, 'getting to second base'?"

Artemis slowly turned red enough to do old Julius proud. "Oh." He folded his hands on his lap, studiously avoiding looking at Holly. "I'm so sorry Holly. I didn't know that. If I had, I never would have touched them."

Holly felt her fluttering stomach fall a little at that. She didn't quite know why, but it almost felt like … she wanted him to touch her ears again. But instead of saying that, she instead said "Oh… it's fine. Really. You didn't know. Sorry about the, uh… the moan. It's pretty involuntary unless they're used to it. No one's ever actually touched **my** ears before. But it's fine. I mean, I know they aren't the prettiest ears in Haven." Unlike that bimbo Lili Frond. She was always getting attention whenever she took off her helmet. Like they couldn't tell those were fake. The stretch marks alone sold her out.

Artemis had a weird look on his face. "What are you talking about, Holly? Your ears look as perfectly beautiful as the rest of you. I was saying I wouldn't have touched them if I had known because I wouldn't think you'd want anyone like me to-"

Holly only half-heard the words after "beautiful". She had heard obnoxious people like Chix Verbil call her 'hot' before. And her family and friends had always said she was pretty. But no one, to her knowledge, had ever called her beautiful before.

Artemis was still talking, but Holly interrupted him with- "You think I'm beautiful?"

The 18 year-old seemed confused for a moment, then seemed to realize what he had said a moment ago. His face, which had been slowly cooling down, flared red again. "I thought that stayed in my head."

"You never said anything before." Holly said, stomach fluttering even more as she allowed her mind to wander into dangerous territory. Her earlier thoughts about how handsome Artemis had become came unbidden to her mind.

"It was stupid to think." He quickly stammered out a continuation seeing the crestfallen look on her face. "I mean it was stupid to say out loud. Sorry, it was just something I've been thinking. Oh, I've ruined everything. You probably think I'm an idiot and are already thinking of a way to leave the room immediately. Right?" He looked miserable and angry at himself, and it made Holly's heart lurch.

"No," Holly said quietly. "I'm not thinking any such thing. I'm thinking that no one has ever called me beautiful before."

Before Artemis could respond Holly reached out and took a hold of one of his hands from his lap. She stroked his long, thin fingers for a moment before she lifted it up and placed it against her ear.

Artemis looked stunned, and -maybe?- hopeful. "But, what you said earlier? About what it meant to touch your ears? I thought-"

"I know exactly what I said, and I meant it. And I know exactly what I'm doing now, and I mean it."

Artemis still looked a little unsure. "But-"

"Artemis." Holly said, looking very, very tense. She really was trying very hard not to do something about the hand on her ear. "If you don't start rubbing my ears, I'm going to make you. Got it?"

She didn't hear him respond, because when he started rubbing her ear she was lost in a cloud of moans and sighs.

* * *

Butler liked to think that his years of service had made him immune to being startled. He had faced down mobsters, angry fairy SWAT teams, fire hurling goblins, near death experiences and many more things with a calm demeanor. But during one of his rounds of Fowl Manor's long hallways, he heard something that easily took ten years off his life. Walking past Master Artemis' room, he stopped suddenly, hearing a sound he had never heard from in there before. It sounded almost like … a girl moaning.

Butler knew Artemis enjoyed his privacy, and had been experimenting with soundproofing materials. Apparently he had missed filling in the small gap between the door and the floor. Butler couldn't tell if he was needed or not, and decided to listen in. Feeling somewhat uncomfortable, Butler placed his large head against the solid oak door to hear a voice he recognized as belonging to- _Holly?!_

"Oh, yes, Arty. Right there! Oh, gods!" her voice called faintly through the door. It was a good thing Mr. and Mrs. Fowl had left with the twins earlier. They didn't need to hear this.

"Am I … doing okay?" Butler heard Artemis ask uncertainly.

"Ohhh … yes, you're doing _amazing! _Ooh, a little lower."

More moaning, and a slightly concealed shriek of pleasure from the elf. "Mmm, you're great at this. But why are you only using two fingers?"

"Holly, the thumb is almost universally accepted as being an appendage, not a finger. You know-"

"Artemis, you have two whole hands. I meant use those. It isn't that hard to- _Aaah!_ D'Arvit! Gods, yes!"

Butler felt like he was about to keel over if he heard another moment of this. Artemis may have legally been 21, and physically 18, and who knows how old mentally, but in Butler's mind he was still the young boy he had grown up protecting. And **he** sure didn't think Artemis was ready for a relationship like this. He shoved the door open, preparing for the worst to happen.

Instead, he saw Holly and Artemis, both fully clothed, sitting on the floor in front of his bed. Artemis had his legs crossed under him in the lotus position. Holly was stretched out in front of him, her head situated in his lap. Artemis was rubbing Holly's ears, one in each hand, and with every movement the elfin girl let out a moan or gasp of pleasure. Her hands were curled into the plush carpeting, and she appeared to have kicked off her boots, her slender toes wriggling in pleasure.

Butler cleared his throat, and they both looked up instantly. Their faces were identical shades of deep red. Holly scrambled off of Artemis' lap, and the boy quickly scrambled to his feet.

"Ah, Butler. How, um… how long have you been standing there?" Artemis looked at the ground, avoiding his bodyguard's face. Butler didn't answer, choosing to look at Holly. She was staring steadily at the ceiling, her cheeks vibrant against her nut brown skin.

Butler simply shook his head, and departed. "Your soundproofing on the door doesn't cover the gap," was all he said as he closed the door behind him.

Artemis let out a pent up breath and slid down his bed onto the ground. Holly plopped down next to him.

"Well." Artemis said, feigning a calm demeanor. "That was probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. Holly, are you alright-" he was cut off as Holly grabbed his collar and pulled him close to her face. Before he could react, she had smashed her lips up against his.

Artemis was too stunned to react for perhaps half a second, before instinct and longing took over. He kissed back, feeling a lot of emotions he had been repressing for the past year come bubbling to the surface. He had thought about this before, but had never acted. He was deeply regretting that now. The kiss deepened as Artemis became more comfortable, and pulled Holly onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. He tentatively ran his tongue along her lips, and they opened a fraction to let him in. They kissed for about two minutes, until both their lungs ached for air and they had to gasp for breath. Artemis simply stared at Holly's panting form, and in that instant he couldn't believe that no one had ever told her she was beautiful. She was the most beautiful person he had ever met.

"Sorry about that." Holly said sheepishly, blushing furiously again.

"That was definitely a very… passionate reaction to a simple ear rub." Artemis said, thoughts still half forming.

"Well, that's what happens when you massage the third most sensitive part of my body."

"So that's a normal reaction, then?" Artemis asked, feeling a little let down.

"I didn't say that," Holly said, giggling, completely out of character for her. "I said that's what happens when **you** massage the third most sensitive part of **my** body. I wouldn't have done anything near that strong if I didn't love the person doing it." Holly then suddenly realized what she had said. She started babbling incoherently.

"Oh, D'Arvit! I meant that I'd only do that if I loved- No. I mean, I don't not love- Agh. What I mean is-"

Artemis interrupted her by placing a hand under her chin and pulling her in close for another kiss. It was shorter than the previous kiss, but it was just as sweet.

"I love you too, Holly." was all he said, pulling her close so she could lean on his shoulder.

Holly wanted to argue with him, but knew that it would be a waste of time. Not once had she ever won an argument against the genius, and she doubted she'd win one that she really didn't even want to win anyway. They both knew he was right. She just sighed and snuggled into his shoulder.

Artemis' mind was still half groggy from the kiss and his admission of love. That was the only reason he could come up with later to explain the next few incidents.

"So, Holly, you said the ear was the third most sensitive part of a fairy's body?"

"Yeah, it is. Why?" she looked up at him with a curious glint in her eyes.

"I was just wondering what the first two were." As soon as he said it, he realized exactly what it was he was saying. He immediately thought that he had already ruined this fledgling relationship with Holly and was awaiting the inevitable punch to the face.

But instead, Holly simply turned her head in thought, then asked, "How long would it take to finish soundproofing your door?"

"Um, five minutes? Why?" Artemis was very nervous and very hopeful that Holly wasn't going to kill him.

"Because you've been learning so much today, once you finish with the door we can continue with our… anatomy lesson." Holly had meant for that to come out as very sensual and enticing. But her nerves had cut in about halfway through, and she ended up giggling. Now she was shaking with laughter, and after a moment Artemis joined in. When they calmed down, she looked at Artemis intently until he got the idea through his head.

"You weren't joking?"

"Nope." she shook her head.

"You're sure about this?" he asked softly, looking into Holly's eyes.

"Uh-huh." she said, nodding. Actually, she was insanely nervous about this. While she had been telling the truth that no-one had ever touched her ears before, she hadn't mentioned the fact that no-one had ever _offered_ to rub them before either. In fact, that had only been her second kiss. Her first had also been, ironically, with Artemis when they had gone back in time to save Jayjay. She had no time for dating civilians while she had been in the Academy, and most of the other cadets had thought she was too much of a tomboy to go out with. After she had broken the nose of one of the ruder guys who had asked her out, he had –rather successfully- started a rumor that she was gay. So it went without saying that if she did go through with this, it would be her first time. But that thought didn't matter overly much to her. If she was being honest to herself, she had been in love with Artemis ever since that first kiss back in time, and wanted to be with him for as long as possible.

She watched impatiently as Artemis went over to a worktable and pulled out a roll of yellowish foam material, before sizing it and affixing it to the bottom of his bedroom door. After finishing soundproofing the room, he turned back to the waiting elf.

"Are you sure you're sure about this?" Artemis asked again.

Holly's response was to tackle Artemis back onto the bed and kiss him mercilessly.

* * *

**Fowl Manor, Artemis Fowl's Room, 11:23 PM**

Artemis was leaning up against his pillows, feeling only an utter sense of peace and contentment. The room was dark, the only source of light the full moon shining through the window. He assumed it must be around 11 o'clock, but wasn't sure. His clock was covered by Holly's shirt.

He looked down at the small form sleeping next to him, her breathing slow and even, a peaceful smile spread over her sleeping face. Artemis had learned two things tonight: One was that Holly had incredibly cold feet. He was actually worried that she was approaching hypothermia any minute now. He made a mental note to get her some thick woolen socks. The second was that he had never in all his life loved anyone as much as the elf cuddled up beside him.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you Holly." he said through a smile.

Artemis had assumed she was asleep, so was surprised when she responded in a blurry voice.

"I love you too, Artemis. Now please shut up so I can sleep." but she was smiling as she said it, and then she rolled over. She wrapped her arms around Artemis' chest and tucked her head against him, enjoying the feeling of the pleasurable ache that spread throughout her body, centering around her lower stomach.

She was so soft and warm against him, Artemis could only move his arms to encircle the girl he loved. Who just happened to have started drooling in her sleep onto his chest. He chuckled, and softly brushed his fingers against her ear again. She smiled and wriggled deeper into his arms.

Artemis fell asleep just like that, and the last image he saw before he drifted off was one of Holly asleep in his arms with a smile on her sleeping face.


End file.
